Moments of Truth

It seems that each day is an opportunity for the fledgling teacher to learn something in the classroom. Yesterday we spent the majority of class in family groups in interaction. After the interactions, each group discussed what had taken place in their sessions and what they were learning about the family communication dynamic. The most difficult aspect of this experience was to refrain from stepping in and correcting or fixing their flawed understandings. My analysis/consultant ego kept trying to jump up and say, "Here is what you should be doing!" I am, after all, older, more experienced and more educated than these students who have just barely made it into their twenties. The problem is, if I jump in and fix them they will never learn to think for themselves or to process understanding through the experience. So if I am truly to teach, there are times I will have to use restraint and allow the students time to learn.

The other big event of the day was a review of my solo teaching experience with my mentor. She made numerous encouraging observations and comments. The problems I demonstrated and mistakes I made are correctable and not fatal. What was somewhat shocking was the discovery that I did some things in class that I don't even remember. I neglected to refer to my mentor, the professor in the class, by her name and referred to her as "her" and "she" instead. I think my uncertainty as to how the students refer to her made me a little nervous about my own references. I struggled with transitions, which is not surprising as I have always had difficulty developing transitions when preaching or giving speeches. I believe this is a result of being a fairly intuitive speaker. I depend on the vibe or the feel of the moment to steer things like illustrations and transitions. In the classroom, however, more planning might be necessary to keep from having a choppy presentation and frustrating the students. She also noted that I fell into a repetitive use of words like "stuff" when I got nervous and filled the empty space. I know better than to do that and can correct it.

Probably the issue that concerned me the most was the observation that I touched a student. I didn't realize I had done it that day, but was very conscious of it in the classroom yesterday (before our review). My years as a youth pastor and as a father enforced a habit of using touch as a means of confirmation or correction. I noticed in the class yesterday that I would reach out to "move" a student and before the motion became a touch would catch myself and pull back. It is not a conscious movement but it is apparently more frequent than I realized. This never came up in our practice teaching experiences in previous classes, perhaps because our "students" were our peers in the cohort or perhaps because they were people in my age demographic whom I didn't perceive as needing my understanding or guidance. While I'm not sure of all the explanations, I do know that it is a habit that I need to bring under conscious control.

Finally, we discussed the next opportunities for classroom leadership and teaching. I am looking forward to participating in these exercises as I work to determine my future in this field. Scares me to death, but excites me at the same time.