A New Week Looks a Lot Like the Previous One

So the last time I posted, I mentioned the job interview. As it turns out, I got through to the final round of interviews on Thursday. Then I waited all day Friday, as they told me they would call me on Friday either way. Finally at 5:15, the call came....and....I didn't get the job. Now, as they had waited until the middle of happy hour to call me, I had figured out on my own that the job was not going to be falling to me. And that's okay; they have to hire the person they feel is best qualified and the best fit for their school. It was nice to be in the pool of finalists. Not sure where I came up short and sent an email thanking the assistant principal for the opportunity and asking for some advice for the next time I get an interview. Still waiting for the (probably not coming) response to that.

This is my second round of unemployment in the past three years. The first one came because my brain quit working and I ended up on disability. I can own that one. This one, however, is different. The first time I was unable to function and spent my days in anguish and despair from issues that were way beyond the unemployment. This time, I am beginning to feel anger. The first couple of weeks I was stunned and sad and walked around in a daze. But after this interview experience, the sadness turned to genuine anger. For almost twenty years I bounced around doing a job I hated until it finally consumed me. I longed to be out of it and dreamed of being a teacher. My friend Matt told me on Saturday that I had gone from a job that I hated on the best days to one I loved on the worst days. And now, it has been taken away for reasons that they assure me have nothing to do with my performance. To get to the final round of interviews and not get the job felt like being teased with a prize and then having it ripped back from my reach. And I HATE it! I assume I can find a job. What I can't assume is that it will be a teaching job, nor that I will love it like I do teaching. That leaves me feeling empty and enraged.

So, life goes on. It is not the worst life a guy could ask for. But it will never be the same. And I can't say that I am happy about it.

(Sorry this is kind of a mess. I thought I had it all planned out but once I started writing it down, things seemed to jumble themselves.)

This Is the Week that Is, Was, or Will Be

It has been about four weeks since I found out I was losing my job and about three weeks since the job actually ended. Nothing like being blindsided, but the transition has gone better than I would have expected. My principal has reminded me--and the rest of the teaching staff--that the dismissal had nothing to do with my performance, but is a result of the inane way the state funds schools. We came up 60 students short of what we needed to make budget and someone's job had to be cut. Unfortunately, it ended up being mine. However, the school has kept me fairly busy as a sub and it usually keeps me out of the house and distracted so I'm not focused on being unemployed (or underemployed, I guess).

Yesterday I had an interview at a middle school in Colorado Springs. It was a positive experience. Not sure I blew them away, or that they will call me back for the second round, but each interview is a step in the right direction. I think I would enjoy the job, as it is a similar population to the one at my old school and I love working with the kids who have some societal/cultural obstacles in their way. I should know today or tomorrow if they are bringing me back for the next step in the process. They want to hire by the end of the week and get the person working by the end of next week. I'm glad it is that quick as waiting around to hear is really overwhelming. Never got any response for the community college job, so this is my only active option. Still looking every day for something to open up. If I don't get something full-time soon, I will be applying for some positions in the community college system in Arizona. Don't really want to live there, but these days a man has to go where the jobs are.

We bought a Jeep this week, a 1992 Cherokee Laredo. Got it from a mechanic who has maintained it well. Fun to drive and four wheel drive, which is a big plus in our little community. Not much to look at, but I am way beyond caring about that at this point in my life. I have wanted a Jeep for forever...the other one I owned had a huge engine made for pulling and got about 10 miles per gallon. This one has the inline six engine and will do some better. Just love the feel of driving this kind of vehicle. Hoping it holds up well.

Well, that is the update from here. Counting down the days to Thanksgiving, anxious to spend Christmas with our family, and especially with Emilee, and doggedly seeking work again. And life goes on.